


The Morning After

by Sarina_Hawke_Theirin



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, F/M, One Night Stands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-25 17:22:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6204127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarina_Hawke_Theirin/pseuds/Sarina_Hawke_Theirin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a one night stand at a drunken party at Shepard's apartment on the Citadel, James wrestles with his feelings for the commander.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Morning After

James's head was killing him when he woke up that morning. What the hell did he drink last night? Oh yeah, that's right. Joker talked him into doing horse choker shots when he was already three sheets to the wind. Cortez didn't lie when he said the shit tasted like a goat's ass and the aftertaste it left in the mouth was even worse the morning after.

The lieutenant covered his eyes with his hand to block out the glare from the lights overhead. They must have been on some sort of timer. He felt the bed shift before realizing that he wasn't alone. He raised his head before turning it to find none other than Commander Shepard lying naked next to him, curled up into a ball.

_Ugh_ , he moaned as he flopped back onto his pillow and moved his entire forearm over his eyes. James felt her cuddle up against his chest and his stomach tightened. What the hell was he going to do now? When she came onto him a few weeks back, he told her that he couldn't get past the fact that she was Commander Shepard, but in his drunken state at the party, he must have let his guard down.

James closed his eyes and tried to recall the events of the previous evening. Shortly after he arrived at the apartment, he was sitting on the sofa having a beer with Cortez, Jack and Major Alenko when Shepard came over and sat down next to him. She listened to the conversation for a few minutes before turning to James with a seductive smile.

"So, James" she said in a low, husky voice. "What's it going to take to convince you to see me as just a woman?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, Lola. I mean, it would have to be one of those once in a lifetime nights chased with a lot of alcohol."

She smirked as she ran a finger softly down his bicep. "Well I guess we'll just have to see about making that happen tonight."

James chuckled uncomfortably. "Are you planning on getting me drunk so you can take advantage of me Commander?"

Her mouth widened to a full grin. "My lips are sealed." She then patted his leg mid-thigh. "I'll catch up with you later. I need to see to the rest of my guests."

James began kicking himself the moment Shepard walked away. What was he thinking? Why didn't he just tell her no? He knew why. He wanted it to happen. He had started falling for her even before Earth was attacked.

For months he was her guard, her jailor. They spent hours chatting over a checker or chess board, not to mention poker and trivia games. Most of the time, it was Shepard that did all the talking, regaling him with tales of her days chasing Saren and facing the Collectors. Her dry wit and down-to-earth personality were so different than what he had expected when they first met, but once she was reinstated and he found himself under her command, James did everything he could to keep their relationship strictly professional, with the odd moments of casual flirting of course.

James was determined to slow down his drinking after that so he could keep his wits about him, but by the end of the night, he had found that he didn't want to hold back anymore. He thought about the feel of her body against him and the sensation of her lips on his bare skin, recalling every detail of their lovemaking.

Her head moved against his bare chest and he sucked in a quick breath. Part of him wanted to stay in that bed forever and never let her go, but they were soldiers and they had a job to do. James had seen the results of things like that way too many times in his military career to know that they never worked out and ended up causing all kinds of problems. He had to end this now before it got worse.

"Good morning" she cooed in a hoarse whisper as she squeezed him tightly.

"Morning" he replied with a tight-lipped smile.

"That was some night."

"Definitely" he swallowed. "Some night."

Her brow furrowed. "You okay, James?"

He sat up and put his feet to the floor before turning to look back at her still lying there. Her body was perfect, even with the scars she bore from all the combat she had seen. Her deep green eyes appeared concerned, yet hopeful. He was so tempted to reveal his true feelings, but the nagging voices of experience and observation wouldn't allow it.

"Yeah Lola" he croaked. "But maybe let's not mention this again."

The creases in her forehead deepened. James could see that his words stung her. "Really?" she questioned softly before she pasted on her best fake smile. "I'll tell you what. I won't bring it up as long as you get your ass out of bed and make me some eggs."

"Deal" he chuckled, though he had to force the laugh.

James got dressed quicker than he had since his days at boot camp and hurried down the stairs. Miranda and Major Alenko were already in the kitchen looking absolutely miserable as they sipped their coffee. James gathered everything he needed to start the eggs and by the time he got the first couple in the pan the rest of the crew began filing into the kitchen and dining room, all seeming the worse for wear.

During breakfast, Shepard made the rounds to ensure that everyone was as fit for duty as could be expected but she wouldn't even look James in the eye. It was the same old story he had seen dozens of times. He only hoped that she would be able to move past it within a few days. He noticed that she finished her meal quickly and headed for the door before the rest of them were even ready to go, asking Garrus to lock up behind everyone.

James was the second to leave. When he arrived at the dock, he spotted Shepard leaning against a rail outside the Normandy's bay surveying the airships. He stood there for a long moment, staring at her from her left side and watching her shift her weight from one leg to the other. Her shoulders were slumped and her expression wistful. He felt a slight pang of regret creep up inside and had to stop himself from approaching her.

Someone jarred his shoulder as he breezed past. Garrus turned his head just enough to shoot James a dirty look as he made his way to the commander's side. The turian was going to be a pain in the ass about the whole thing. James just knew it. Garrus was Shepard's best friend, after all. The lieutenant sighed heavily. It was exactly that kind of thing that James had been trying to avoid.

Once everyone was back on the ship, James busied himself cleaning the crew's weapons and filling ammo clips. It wasn't the most exciting job in the world, but at least he didn't have to endure anymore icy glares from the others while tucked into his little alcove in the shuttle bay. The biggest problem he found with the tedious task was that his mind kept wandering back to the previous night. No matter what he did, he just couldn't seem to get the memory of being with Shepard out of his head.

James turned to grab another empty clip, only to find Cortez standing next to him. James rolled his head from one side to the other and shrugged his shoulders. "What's up, Esteban?"

"I just thought you might want to talk is all" the other man answered with concern.

The space between James's brows disappeared. "What in the hell are you talkin' about?"

Cortez folded his arms over his chest. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. You…and Shepard."

One of James's muscular shoulders lifted then quickly fell. "Nothing to talk about. We got drunk, did the horizontal mambo and agreed to never talk about it again. No big deal."

"Uh-huh. Except you're forgetting one thing Mr. Vega. I spend more time with you than anybody else on this ship and I've known you long enough to tell when you're full of shit. I've seen the way you look at the commander when her back's turned, and the goofy smile you have plastered on your face hours after she comes down here to talk to you is a dead giveaway to how you really feel."

James rolled his eyes with annoyance. "Man, just drop it. It is what it is and I want to keep it that way."

Cortez shook his head. "I don't get it. Shepard's an amazing woman and for some reason, she seems to care about you. What are you so afraid of?"

James exhaled a defeated sigh. "Fine. You want to know the truth? The truth is…that's exactly what I'm afraid of. I've seen companies and ship's crews torn apart when shit like this goes bad." He shook his head. "What we're doing…what we're about to do, we all need our heads in the game, brother. We can't afford some bullshit like this getting in the way of the mission. The whole fuckin' galaxy is depending on us…on her. Besides, I'm just not…"

"You're not what?"

James couldn't mask the pain in his deep brown eyes when he spoke his answer. "I'm not good enough for her. I'm a fuck up…plain and simple."

"Why don't you let her decide that," Cortez offered.

James shook his head as he crossed his arms over his muscular chest. "No," he said flatly. "It's done. And I don't wanna talk about it anymore. So drop it"

Cortez held up his hands in defeat. "Fine…but I think you're making a mistake."

"Noted Lieutenant," snapped James as he returned to his work.

Something deep inside him was inclined to agree with Cortez. His heart was screaming at him, telling him he was making the biggest mistake of his life. His head, on the other hand, knew he had to give up the foolish notion of love. There was no place for such emotions on the battlefield. There was no room for it on the Normandy. At least he got one night…one once in a lifetime night.

 


End file.
